A Blog Post About Blog Posts

Some people love blogs, some people hate them. I have thought long and hard about whether I should even record stuff here. There is a temptation for me to create an image of myself that is unrealistic and self-righteous.

I guess my problem with writing on a blog and social media in general is that I control how you see me. I can evaluate a picture or a post and decide whether I want to portray myself that way to the rest of the world. Whereas, when someone is around me in person, they can see all of me for who I am. (Well, not exactly all of me because we even filter how we act around others in person, but you see more of me than you would on social media). You can see my double chin when I laugh, how I stuff tissues up my nose when I get sick, etc. etc. You can see my flaws in real time. In contrast, any flaws I display on social media are filtered through what I want you to know about me. That can be good because some stuff should be kept private and not broadcasted. At the same time, it can also be bad because I can portray myself in a way that makes me look much cooler than I actually am, like I am much holier than I actually am, and like I live a much more exciting life than I actually do. On the internet, you can get to know me without ever having to talk to me. You can see what I am doing, know my views on virtually everything, and know my very personal experiences, without ever having a conversation with me. It is very weird. Here is an example:

I can read blogs about marriage without ever talking to a married couple. Instead of getting to know some married couples at my church and seeing their marriage in real time, I read marriage blogs that tell me the nitty gritty of their lives without the need to form a relationship.

But wait, have people not done this in books and newspapers before the internet even existed? Writers compose autobiographies and share their personal experiences in paper form. It is much like talking to an audience. You can control how your readers see you and yet you still do not know those you are communicating to.

So, I have set up getting to know a married couple and reading blogs about marriage as if they are against each other–that you either must be on Team Blog or Team Real Life. However, I do not think a dichotomy is necessary here. It is possible to see the nitty gritty of real married couples while also supplementing your knowledge with blogs about marriage. While all are called to real-life discipleship in one way or another, some have the gift of writing and are able to speak to a broader audience on top of that.

I would argue that reading about the experiences of others is quite helpful but not necessary. You can be solely on Team Real Life and be perfectly fine. However, if you are on Team Blog, you absolutely need to be on Team Real Life as well. The talking, breathing, eating, kind of discipleship works in ways that simple reading does not. So, here’s a tip to keep them in tension.

If you are reading a lot about marriage (or any given subject– leadership, bible memorization, spiritual gifts, politics) without learning from people in real life about the subject as well, it may be time to cut back on the reading and seek out people who can practically disciple you in this area.

Now I have just shared what the reader should do in this scenario, but what about the writer? Well, I have discovered that what started in me as a bitterness towards my ability to control someone’s view of me turned into an issue of stewardship. The fact that I am sharing about myself one-sidedly is not inherently wrong. Everything depends on the motivation behind why I write. I may write mainly because I want praise from others. I am using God’s gifts for selfish gain which equates to bad stewardship. Or I may write because I genuinely enjoy writing and want others to benefit from my words–regardless of whether I am praised. Here my primary focus is enjoying God and enhancing the lives of others through my gifts: good stewardship. It is the ideal. This is not to say that those who genuinely enjoy writing will have flawless motivations. That is not possible. There is always a subtle thirst for praise in anything we do. However, if we are consistently aware of that desire, we can combat it through prayer. Another tip:

If you are the one writing, be cautious. To a great extent, you are able to control how you are seen by others. Pray that God would enable you to steward this gift well, be vulnerable to a healthy extent, and share who you are with honesty.

My prayer is that the words I write here will point you to Jesus. More specifically, I hope you can see how I work through my own beliefs and maybe it will encourage you as you work through yours.