Can you imagine someone grieved by a party or excited for a funeral? This is what envy does to us. Envy makes us sad when others succeed and delighted when they fail. Despite how absurd it is, envy is a familiar foe. What’s not as clear is where envy comes from and what we can do to fight it. In this first of four posts on envy, I’ll cover what envy is and what it looks like in our hearts and lives.
Timothy Perrine and Kevin Timpe identify three components of envy: a comparative notion of self-worth, a perception of inferiority, and a disdain towards another for their perceived superiority.
1. A Comparative Notion of Self-Worth
Envy begins with a comparative notion of self-worth. We believe another’s gifts or accomplishments say something about us. How we measure up to others determines our value. Rebecca DeYoung writes, “The envious want to be superior, for their self-esteem depends on outranking others in the relevant field of comparison.” In the grip envy, we may find ourselves keeping tabs on other’s accomplishments like our self-worth depends on it. We compete with those around us, perpetually ranking ourselves.
We rank ourselves because envy is competitive—and so other people become our rivals. Richard Smith observes, “When I race my 5-year-old niece, and we both try our best, there is no question who will win—there is no real competition between us.” For there to be competition, there must be equality on some level because whatever that person has must have been possible for me to possess myself.[1]
That’s why we don’t envy just anybody, but those like us. One philosopher notes that we envy our “equals with respect to age, disposition, distinction, place, reputation, or wealth, when they have advantages in the particular domain of competition.”[2] We are most likely to envy those closest to us— a colleague, classmate, friend, or spouse.[3]
2. A Sense of Inferiority
Envy feeds on a sense of inferiority, insecurity, or self-hatred. Wherever there’s insecurity, envy is not far behind. Os Guinness articulates, “Envy enters when, seeing someone else’s happiness or success, we feel ourselves called into question. Then, out of the hurt of our wounded self-esteem, we seek to bring the other person down to our level by word or deed.”[4] If a man hates his body, he’ll envy someone more attractive. If a woman’s insecure about her social abilities, she’ll envy someone gregarious. Another’s advantage highlights where we feel inadequate.
Since misery loves company, our feelings of inadequacy then drive us to either: belittle others for their accomplishment or refuse to acknowledge the accomplishment altogether. For example, if you race against someone and they place first, you might make fun of them for caring about the race so much or you may simply withhold congratulations. In the first instance you use your words to speak negatively; in the second, you refuse to speak positively.
3. Disdain Towards Another for Perceived Superiority
Envy culminates in a disdain towards others for their perceived superiority. Someone else has what we want, we feel bad, and so we despise them. Augustine lists a number of ways envy corrupts our heart:
…feeling offended at the talents, successes, or good fortune of others; selfish or unnecessary rivalry and competition; pleasure at other’s difficulties or distress; ill will; reading false motives into others’ behavior; and belittling others.
This is the work of envy before anyone else can see it. These emotions wreak havoc on our souls, ruining our peace of mind and relationship with God.
Given enough time, envy stops being discreet and emerges in our actions. Augustine lists how envy shows itself to the outside world:
…false accusations; backbiting (saying something bad, even if true, behind another’s back); slander (saying something bad, even if true, in the open about someone); initiation, collection, or retelling of gossip; arousing, fostering, or organizing antagonism against others; scorn of another’s abilities or failures; teasing or bullying; ridicule of persons, institutions, or ideals; and prejudice against those we consider inferior, who consider us inferior, or who seem to threaten our security or position.
These actions ruin others and any relationship we have with them. Envy truly is an absurd and destructive vice.
[1]D’Arms and Kerr, “Envy in the Philosophical Tradition,” 43.
[2]D’Arms and Kerr, “Envy in the Philosophical Tradition,” 42.
[3]See Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (New York: The New American Library, 1955), 51.
[4]Os Guinness, The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 1998), 124.
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